Insomnia

It’s so hard to live with insomnia.

At 15 I was diagnosed with depression and that’s when I started taking sleeping medication. Ever since then, there was only ONE nigh where I was able to sleep without any type of medication.

10 years of my life, I’ve been hooked to medicine, needing it to sleep.

It fluctuates, honestly, sometimes it is easier, I can easily fall asleep with a smaller doses. Other times, I have to take so many pills to fall asleep, that I can’t wake up the next day.

It is hard, there have been periods of my life where I was completely numbed by medication. I don’t remember classes, people, events, nothing.

After 8 years I finally got rid of a specific medication, but just went straight to the other, always overseen by doctors. Always wondering if I’ll ever be able to lay my head down on the pillow and sleep like a “normal” human being.

It is hard, living with depression, that is what causes my insomnia. It’s just a hard, solitary thing. It hurts. I don’t like it!